Sometimes you get the lucky lottery numbers. Sometimes you get a statement that is supposedly about you. I once got “you will order takeout.”
But today Jessica and I opened our cookies and got the perfect fortunes.
This past week has been all about family. I’ve seen people that I normally only see on holidays every day recently. It’s wonderful, despite the circumstances.
Even though death was what brought us all together again, it’s still be nice having them around so much. One of my favorite people ever has been in town. She’s Jessica, my cousin and we’ve been close since day one.
Earlier in the week we had a big, heavy conversation about our lives and where they’re going. Both of us were feeling completely lost. Talking to her about everything made it so real. All of the thoughts that I had been pushing to the back of my brain, all the “I’ll think about it later and just have fun for now” kind of thoughts were forced to the front and became the only thing on my mind.
For the last few days I’ve just been thinking and thinking. I need to do something with my life. Yeah, I’m young. Everybody’s been telling me nonstop that I have a long time to figure ‘it’ out. And that is true. I (hopefully) have a lot of time and a lot of life ahead of me.
But the thing is I’m not trying to have my life figured out just yet, that would be ridiculous. I just want to work towards getting there. I want to make progress. I want to move in the right direction.
And today I made the first step. With the help of Heather, my best friend, I’ve decided on a direction to move in. Sure, it’s not what I originally had in mind, but since when does life always go as planned?
The plans I had made months ago are done with. Now I’ve changed and so have my plans and I’m actually excited. And it gets even better because my best friend is going to be by my side, along for the ride.
We’re in this together.
Today I saw Jessica again and instead of moping around about how lost we felt we walked up to each other with smiles on our faces. In just this week both of us changed. We were no longer crying and trying to convince ourselves that things were okay because we were in the same boat, and we’d deal with things later.
Today we got to talk about taking action.
And that’s what I’m doing. That’s what Jessica’s doing. And the same for Heather.
All of us are working towards new beginnings. Towards goals, towards dreams. I couldn’t be luckier to have the love and support of these two amazing women. Thanks to these two people I’m working towards making progress. They’re my friends, they’re my family.
I had hit a wall. Instead of standing there forever and wondering what to do next I went searching for a way around it.
Today was a turning point for me. I’m going to try my best to put this new plan into action. I’ve found a direction to move in.